Feeling the heat.

For those who don't know, I both work in education part-time and am taking 2-3 university classes per semester - and much of Rorasuketo was completed during binges in spring, summer, and winter breaks. We are currently approaching midterms, which is possibly the worst time to launch and promote a video game, but I chose this time because I was tired of waiting around. Also, Mitten Kitten (October 10!) was going to be a really cool opportunity to get the word out, and getting the word out is easier when you have something tangible to offer people. This might affect my grade point average and work life a little bit. I'm trying to accept that. I made choices, and there are consequences to those choices.

Rora is about mental health, so I feel like I can (and should?) be honest about mine. It's taking a little dip into the "not great" category. My class and work schedule is a little wonky, where there are gaps of maybe 30 to 45 minutes between each; I am one of those people who likes to settle into my little station at home and really dig into my work for a couple hours. The acts of collapsing onto a random table in a library or trying to read on a shaky bus are not my forte, but it seems like that type of thing is going to have to become my forte. I have a few hours at home to eat, do homework and acknowledge the existence of my spouse before going to bed. (And sleep deprivation does really awful things to me.) It feels like there is not enough time. There are lab reports to write (in pen - oh yes, in pen) and books to read and lectures to watch and essays to write and practice problems to do. There are also the students I serve in my work, who count on me to help them pass their own classes. Balancing my focus between Rora, helping other people, and helping myself is indeed difficult. And I might technically have the time, but am I using it in the most effective ways?

Rora is sexier than thermodynamics, and I tell myself there will only be one Rora, but (if I do it right) there will also be only one organic chemistry class, too. And there will only be one unique life who is counting on me to lift them up. So, like I said: Overwhelming.

I am taking a break from my lab report to type this. Is this a good use of my time? Uncertain. But I do also feel it's important to "be real" about the process and capture it. I'm not sure who will end up reading this, but it's a wild ride, and maybe it will help someone in their own game dev journey.